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NFL DFS Divisional Round Preview: Back to the Baker Well
I somehow went positive last week. It was the showdown slate that put me over the top. I was a Chase Edmonds touchdown away from winning a million on Monday night. One of these times variance will break my way. As they say, you never know when you will realize your EV. It’s time to…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Rodgers and the Lock
This was my worst week of the season. I fucked up so badly. I cut it way too closely to lock trying to upload my lineups and I’m still not sure if it was user error, DraftKings, or Fantasy Labs. Nightmare struck and I was not able to upload my lineups so I just had…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Stevenson and Showtime
I had my best Sunday of the season around the time Evan Engram whipped out the basilisk for 11-162-2. I didn’t know he had that in him, but I truly have played him around 80% of the weeks this year so it was good to finally get some of that money back. Going 75% Goff…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Olave and Double RB
Variance must be worse than ever this season. My stacks were so fucking bad. I even slipped a Rodgers lineup in the milly and that was a massive mistake. DeShaun Watson looked like complete ass shit, but the Browns’ defense somehow got 30 points, breaking the slate. I’m not sure how many more weeks like…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Moore Colt
I opened the app at about 12:45 central and immediately had my pants split at the crotch seeing that I was in first. I then got completely fucked by the second half of the early games and the late games. Playing Ben Skowronek, Kenyan Drake, and Brian Robinson was so fucking bad I deserved my…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Hurts and the Double RB
I got fucking blasted. The week I play the Miami stack is the week they gurgle their own sacks at their highest cumulative price in a game where they scored 39 as a team. Going down from Amon-Ra St. Brown to Cooper in almost every situation possible was also a mistake. There was no overcoming…
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Monday Night Football Preview: Frankenstein and the Dart
The slate wasn’t really that bad for me until DK Metcalf got injured and it all started crumbling. Shortly after that Josh Jacobs unveiled his foot-long python on the Texans’ defense and the day was over for me. Somehow the Raiders scored 38 points and Davante Adams didn’t score a touchdown. The highlight of the…
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Monday Night Football Preview: JuJu Unveils and the Kelce Fade
If there was any doubt that games are rigged for Brady, look no further than that “roughing the passer” call that cost the Falcons the fucking game. Brady got swung down like a flaccid piece of lettuce, but he had the ball the entire time. I don’t know how you watch another game as a…
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Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught
My Lamar double stacks and zero Hockencock were the nails in the coffin to my chances of profiting on Sunday. Variance caught up to me a bit with none of my Geno stacks having Hockencock as the comeback. That’s inexcusably bad, but I couldn’t stomach the high ownership and saw Goff relentlessly feed Reynolds last…
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Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson
I forgot what it was like to win multiple weeks in a row. PGA DFS did an absolute fucking paint job on my bank account, but now we are cooking with gas in NFL through 3 weeks (outside of the mushroom stamp that was put onto my face in week 1). Despite going heavy Mahomes,…
The Cash God 