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Week 15 NFL Main Slate DFS Preview: Big Mike and the Curtain Call
Last week was somehow my best week of the year. No massive wins, but finally some nice profit. I dodged some of the bad chalk and ended up with a lot of Evan Engram on his dicks out game of the year. I was stoking that volcano with dollars pretty much every week of the…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Stevenson and Showtime
I had my best Sunday of the season around the time Evan Engram whipped out the basilisk for 11-162-2. I didn’t know he had that in him, but I truly have played him around 80% of the weeks this year so it was good to finally get some of that money back. Going 75% Goff…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Olave and Double RB
Variance must be worse than ever this season. My stacks were so fucking bad. I even slipped a Rodgers lineup in the milly and that was a massive mistake. DeShaun Watson looked like complete ass shit, but the Browns’ defense somehow got 30 points, breaking the slate. I’m not sure how many more weeks like…
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Week 13 NFL DFS Preview: Kelce and the Chubb
There is a serious chance I need to retire from showdowns. I am so fucking bad. Every time I enter, I am convinced I’ve found the nuts only to be in complete shambles after the game’s first touchdown. The showdown slate on Monday was a continuation of the dick dusting I received on Thursday and…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: The Freier and the D
I faded Garrett Wilson when I saw a 30%+ ownership projection and he proceeded to remove his dick from his shorts and swing it around at less than half of that. Mike White appears to be the real deal and they play the Vikings next week so I’ll be noting that for the main slate.…
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Thanksgiving Day Slate NFL DFS Preview: Jared Goes Diggs Out
Maybe this goes without saying, but I got completely fucked by the Rondale Moore injury on Monday and my night was over on what was pretty much the first play. I could hardly watch the game. Good thing we have a short week and a 3-game slate on Thursday. While everyone gurgles down turkey I’ll…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Moore Colt
I opened the app at about 12:45 central and immediately had my pants split at the crotch seeing that I was in first. I then got completely fucked by the second half of the early games and the late games. Playing Ben Skowronek, Kenyan Drake, and Brian Robinson was so fucking bad I deserved my…
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Week 11 NFL DFS Preview: Gabe Davis and the Dome
Bears GM, Tank Commander Poles woke up with the biggest erection of his life on Monday morning after seeing Fields blast off and lose (salvaging their top 5 pick odds). Fields is clearly in play every week now that HC Eberflus has removed his head from his own anus. Nothing went egregiously wrong last week.…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Hurts and the Double RB
I got fucking blasted. The week I play the Miami stack is the week they gurgle their own sacks at their highest cumulative price in a game where they scored 39 as a team. Going down from Amon-Ra St. Brown to Cooper in almost every situation possible was also a mistake. There was no overcoming…
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Week 10 NFL DFS Preview: Saquon and the Well
It’s been a terrible two-week stretch. This time it wasn’t the chalk hitting, it was Joe fucking Mixon. The only thing more tilting than chalk variance is a running back averaging about 3 yards per carry randomly rushing for 150 and 5 TDs. It didn’t matter how many of my lineups contained Cameraman Pusher, I…
The Cash God 