Tag: NFL

  • Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught

    Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught

    My Lamar double stacks and zero Hockencock were the nails in the coffin to my chances of profiting on Sunday. Variance caught up to me a bit with none of my Geno stacks having Hockencock as the comeback. That’s inexcusably bad, but I couldn’t stomach the high ownership and saw Goff relentlessly feed Reynolds last…

  • Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    I mentioned it in the Monday recap, but I’ll say it again because with variance you never know how many net positive weeks you’ll get. I finally dragged my dick on the slate last week. On my initial lineup run, I ended up with 75% Mack Hollins because of how expensive the Mahomes–Kelce stacks were…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    I forgot what it was like to win multiple weeks in a row. PGA DFS did an absolute fucking paint job on my bank account, but now we are cooking with gas in NFL through 3 weeks (outside of the mushroom stamp that was put onto my face in week 1). Despite going heavy Mahomes,…

  • Week 3 Preview: Chase and the Long Spray

    Week 3 Preview: Chase and the Long Spray

    It’s a little early in the year for the slate to flow through me like it did this past week, but I’d like to report that the pants I wore on Sunday look as if a steel fucking pole the shape and size of a Pringles can got strapped to a firework and blasted through…

  • Week 2 Preview: Dick Chubb’s Eruption

    Week 2 Preview: Dick Chubb’s Eruption

    Week 1 was fucking terrible for me. Truly one of the worst weeks of all time. I take solace in the fact that it seems like the chalk hit, which means my contrarian-focused GPP lineups would be complete shit. That’s what I call variance. To top it all off on Sunday afternoon (I was obviously…

  • Week 1 Preview: Moore Spray Paint

    Week 1 Preview: Moore Spray Paint

    I can finally stop jacking it to Scott Hanson red zone highlight reels. The season is upon us. There wasn’t a bank account on earth that needed NFL DFS to start more than mine. I was getting completely dick blasted every fucking week by PGA. All variance of course. My response to anyone that asks…