The Cash God

Tag: PGA

  • The Honda Classic Preview: Pendick and the Hits

    The Honda Classic Preview: Pendick and the Hits

    Last week didn’t do my bankroll any favors. I already tweeted about it but I’ll say it again. One week without NFL has turned into a blank NBA lineup, a placeholder NBA lineup, and $25 lit on fire and flushed down a paint-jobbed toilet via the NASCAR Milly Maker. I am fiending for a win…

  • Genesis Invitational Preview: Bigdicki and the Well Water

    Genesis Invitational Preview: Bigdicki and the Well Water

    I stopped looking at my lineup after the cut last week after having 4 players miss the cut. How the fuck is that even possible? It turns out variance does swing like a pendulum. Shane the fucking brain was a complete failure. Fleetwood, Jizzer, and Posten also inexplicably missed the cut. All in all, it…

  • WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    I was a Troy Merritt implosion away from another 6/6 last week. I’m not sure what the fuck happened to him, but course history failed me in that instance and I was left with a single-entry lineup fighting for its fucking life to min-cash. The field this week looks stacked. I begin the week with…

  • AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Preview: Spieth and I Head to Denny’s

    AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Preview: Spieth and I Head to Denny’s

    Last week Robby Shelton birdied 18 to deliver my second 6/6 single entry of the year. I had absolutely 0 faith in it. Woodcock butchered half of the course and Cock Palmer forgot how to play golf on day 4. I still profited because of Homa’s win, but it could have been a much bigger…

  • Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    I could not weather the storm. Ryders on the storm completely fucked my single-entry lineup with his missed cut. Papa Jon is absolutely dialed in right now he is going to be a very tough fade going forward, despite some inevitable regression. Live look at Papa Jon: It’s time for the plays. Not often will…

  • The American Express Preview: Tom Kim and the Grand Slam

    The American Express Preview: Tom Kim and the Grand Slam

    Last week was one of my best golf results in recent memory. I had a 6/6 single entry in contention all weekend. There is nothing quite like sweating a Matt Kuchar made cut then having him go on a run to remember on the weekend to finish top 10. It’s safe to say I put…

  • Sony Open DFS Preview: HealedNeki and the Geezer

    Sony Open DFS Preview: HealedNeki and the Geezer

    Last week, I picked a winner in Papa Jon and had Zalatoris at 8%. Unfortunately, Billy Horsecock had one of the worst tournaments of his life and finished close to last. He had to be one of the only players to shoot over par on any of the four days. I will be noting that…

  • RSM Classic Preview: Griffin and the Course History

    RSM Classic Preview: Griffin and the Course History

    Last week was the first 6/6 in a long time, but Aaron Wise prevented me from winning anything meaningful. He started out T1 after a -5 first round and began his sack gurgling routine on Friday, finishing T22. Scheffler finished T9, which was actually pretty fucking bad for the field, another week without the number…

  • Houston Open Preview: Wise and Scheffler’s Quest

    Houston Open Preview: Wise and Scheffler’s Quest

    I’m slamming the Viagra for these golf slates. There’s no option. I just missed a min-cash on my single entry last week as a result of S.H. Kim performing a dick-gurgling routine on himself. Onto another horrific field. The new year cannot come quick enough for these golf events. S.H. and I both gurgling on…

  • World Wide Technology Championship Preview: Iron Man and the Geezer

    World Wide Technology Championship Preview: Iron Man and the Geezer

    This line is going to sound familiar because it happened in NFL too. I stopped looking at my lineup sometime on Saturday because of the 3 fucking missed cuts that stained my screen. I’m grasping at straws for something to blame, but it’s just so difficult to get your dick hard for some of these…