The Cash God

Tag: PGA

  • Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    I said this a few weeks ago, but I’m rescinding it now because this one somehow tops it. This is the worst field of all time. I get fucking blasted by NFL this weekend and this is what I open up the PGA section of the app and see. I didn’t think there was a…

  • The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    I have a lot of respect for my fellow degens still grinding these golf tournaments with me. I got blasted last week as a result of Bigdicki having the worst round of his life on his home course. Matt Wallace also appeared to forget what a golf club was on his way to a 64th-place…

  • ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    In hindsight, the Cantplay fade looked like absolute dog ass, but at 40% ownership, I think you can make the argument that it wasn’t that bad. His collapse on Sunday was borderline poetic. I was a Denny McCarthy dick gurgling away from a 6/6 single entry, but at least Kim uncoiled his python and finished…

  • Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    I’ve been playing single entry in these shit PGA tournaments. This week was fucking horrific, but I like how the lineup ended up ownership-wise. I stayed away from the Cock Burns and Montgomery chalk, but unfortunately, the Montgomery chalk hit and he finished 9th. I also had 3 MCs (Posten, Mullinax, and Endycock) in my…

  • Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no…

  • President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    I made a single-entry lineup for last week’s absolute dog shit tournament and it was definitely one of my worst. I had 4 MCs and the Cash God Guarantee sucked his own sack. Meanwhile, Danny Willet on 18 looked like a random guy at your local course 15 beers deep trying to finish the round…

  • Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole

    Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole

    The PGA is back and holy shit this has to be one of the worst fields I’ve ever seen. When Taylor Pendrith is the 6th highest priced guy it’s clear what type of field we are working with. It’s extremely difficult to get your dick hard for anything like this, but there are GPPs to…

  • Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall

    Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall

    The Cash God is back. Just in time for NFL. I min cashed the big fucking papa. There is nothing better than seeing that bag of money on the Draftkings app even if it was a net loss of a week. Bigdicki and Spieth started out hot but gurgled a bit on Saturday and Sunday…

  • BMW Championship Preview: Spieth and the Bigdicki WD Narrative

    BMW Championship Preview: Spieth and the Bigdicki WD Narrative

    Steele pole fucked my lineup. I still ended up almost cashing despite a 5/6. I would have taken a min cash at this point. This is the worst streak of my life. I think we start to question the process a little, but playing a single lineup makes the margin for error thinner than my…

  • FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview: Hovland’s Steele Pole

    FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview: Hovland’s Steele Pole

    Webb Simpson needs to rename his daughter. He disgraced her name with his performance last week at the Wyndham Championship. The number of golfers that WD when they are a piece of my lineup is the worst fucking variance imaginable. Another 4/6. I am chomping at the bit for the NFL to start. Playing preseason…