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Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank
Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results. A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by…
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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million
Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…
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RBC Canadian Open Preview: Fitzmagic and the Second Coming of Jason
By now we have all heard the news and seen all the takes. The only rational take is that the PGA tour players got completely robbed and Jay Monahan folded like a card table. You almost feel bad for Rory. Almost. It doesn’t really matter what happened. The one thing that matters is that we…
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The Memorial Tournament Preview: Thomas and the Big Bounce Back
This past week was a fucking disaster. I was swimming with the bots, taking almost last. Somehow Spieth, along with 3 others in my lineup, missed the cut. I need a win in the worst way this week. We begin the week with a tradition unlike any other. Clicking the button to exclude Rory. I…
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Charles Schwab Challenge Preview: Spieth and the Grand Slam Breakfast
It was early into the tournament when I could stop looking at my lineups this past week. Talor Gooch gurgled on his own Gooch, finishing +10. There is nothing more dejecting than the anticipation of a major only to be completely fucked on the first day or two like I have been in this PGA…
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PGA Championship Preview: Always Play the Hits
Holy shit I wasn’t sure if my bankroll would make it to another major. The past month and a half have been so fucking bad. I’ve lost every single week. What’s even more tilting is as I scroll through this week’s field I see a prominent name missing. Where the fuck is Jason Cockrack? That…
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AT&T Byron Nelson Preview: K.H. Lee Saves My Balance
I called it early last week after Luke List became Luke Lost. SE Kim didn’t help. I have a hard time watching the rest of these random tournaments after my lineups are completely dead. The field this week actually has a few bigger names, but it’s AT&T Byron Nelson so I’m tempering my expectations. I…
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Wells Fargo Championship Preview: Mitchell, the Well and the Geezer
Hank Ligbofa had the worst day at his job last week and it made me swim with the fucking bots all weekend. I could hardly look. This week, we begin with a tradition unlike any other. The clicking of the exclude button on Rory. It’s been good to me so far this year especially during…
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Mexico Open Preview: Byeong Hun and the Year of Rahm
I took one look at this field and almost took the week off. Not only do we have 12k chalk Rahm, but we also have some incredible names in the top two price ranges. I was off last week due to the team format and still recovering from Zalatoris Masters WD. Onto the Mexico Open.…
The Cash God 