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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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World Wide Technology Championship Preview: Iron Man and the Geezer
This line is going to sound familiar because it happened in NFL too. I stopped looking at my lineup sometime on Saturday because of the 3 fucking missed cuts that stained my screen. I’m grasping at straws for something to blame, but it’s just so difficult to get your dick hard for some of these…
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Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well
I’ve been playing single entry in these shit PGA tournaments. This week was fucking horrific, but I like how the lineup ended up ownership-wise. I stayed away from the Cock Burns and Montgomery chalk, but unfortunately, the Montgomery chalk hit and he finished 9th. I also had 3 MCs (Posten, Mullinax, and Endycock) in my…
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Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job
I mentioned it in the Monday recap, but I’ll say it again because with variance you never know how many net positive weeks you’ll get. I finally dragged my dick on the slate last week. On my initial lineup run, I ended up with 75% Mack Hollins because of how expensive the Mahomes–Kelce stacks were…
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Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole
The PGA is back and holy shit this has to be one of the worst fields I’ve ever seen. When Taylor Pendrith is the 6th highest priced guy it’s clear what type of field we are working with. It’s extremely difficult to get your dick hard for anything like this, but there are GPPs to…
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Week 1 Preview: Moore Spray Paint
I can finally stop jacking it to Scott Hanson red zone highlight reels. The season is upon us. There wasn’t a bank account on earth that needed NFL DFS to start more than mine. I was getting completely dick blasted every fucking week by PGA. All variance of course. My response to anyone that asks…
The Cash God 