It’s Wednesday evening. I just got off the phone with the sheetrock repair service to fix a dick-shaped imprint in my wall that occurred between the hours of 2-4 pm on Sunday afternoon. More specifically, right after Joe Burrow threw a late TD to Tee Higgins.

It ended up really not mattering that much considering the Cardinals-Seahawks game shot out along with every other game on the slate and that the fact that I had Shit Chest (Rest in Peace) stacked in the majority of those Burrow-Boyd-Higgins lineups.

The Burrow-Boyd-Higgins stack was close to, if not, the nuts stack on the slate. I didn’t take the time to do the math, but I can assure you it was close. It was up there with Sherbert+Keenan Allen, Burrow-Gio-Boyd and the Russ-Lockett stack.

I’ll get into it more in my week 8 preview, but the Browns defense is absolute ass shit against the pass. That is something that’s known at this point and will be a good defense to target moving forward.

The shit chest injury combined with not being heavy enough of Davante Adams was what prevented me from profiting on the slate. In a not surprising turn of events, it ended up getting worse for me on Monday Night.

I’ll just quickly recap. I played 1 lineup in the papa. Unfortunately, that lineup included Dick Folds, who had one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen. I did not cash. Folds along with Lead Legs David Montgomery in the captain seat was impossible to overcome. I did end up leaving 5.6k dick on the table for those keeping score at home.

Some poor bloke got $1M ripped out of his hands on a stat correction. If someone is solo shipping the papa on a showdown slate you have to give it to them. DK, do the right thing.

On the topic of dick folds:

Teddy and the Panthers vs Atlanta on Thursday Night Football. I came into the season with a “holy shit Carolina might be the worst team in the league” approach but they’ve actually been fairly decent overall.

In terms of this game, I think you slip Teddy into the captain seat and pair him with Robby Anderson/DJ Moore. Then run it back with Matty Ice and whatever pass catchers you can fit in. I like Todd “dust knees” Gurley since the Panthers struggle mightily against the run. There aren’t many deep dives on this one so it might get tough to get creative. I could see it being a good time to go double kicker. I would expect a good amount of scoring.

As always, leave an extensive amount of dick on the table. The sap that had $1m ripped out of his hands had over $6k dick left on the table. His lineup was unique and that’s one of the keys in showdown.

I’ll be back on Saturday with the week 8 preview and of course, the Cash God Guarentee.

-CashGod-