I am writing this article through the pain as I see Drew Lock run into the endzone for his second TD. My lineup is dead on impact for this dogshit Saturday slate. Some of these slates are similar to throwing at a dartboard with your eyes closed. My Saturday lineup has a Cowboys triple stack so I’m going to be tilted beyond belief if they end up resting anyone, but McCarthy is a massive donkey and probably loves the momentum so I’m likely safe.
At QB, I have a good amount of conviction on my plays this week. It is Kirk Cousins’ week. There is nothing on the line, but Zimmer has already stated that the starters will be playing. Can you describe a better situation for Cousins to bring the snake out of hiding? I can’t. A meaningless game, at home, against the Bears.
I’m playing two other QBs. One of the two is Kyler Murray- I’ll mention the second one later on. Arizona has a chance to win the NFC West and the Seacocks are fucking terrible. I understand that he might catch some ownership, but the rest of the plays are largely shit. It appears as Russel Wilson has forgiven Metcalf for his sins (i.e. the 3-way) so they should be able to push the Arizona offense enough for Murray to find his ceiling.
We all give Big Ben shit for having a completely flaccid, dick-that-needs-to-be-amputated-type arm and this is probably the final week we have to see him on a football field again. But in that spirit, if you want to play him in a “one final ride” narrative I think you could make a case against a Ravens team that has been struggling. Here’s a video of Ben’s arm from last Sunday:
Speaking of old fucking geezers, at RB I like Davonte Freeman more than I’d like to admit. The Steelers are worthless against the run and he seems to have a firm grasp on the balls of that backfield. You may be thinking “Holy shit Cash God has lost it, is there even a ceiling on that play?”. He received 8 targets last time they played the Steelers and at $5.2k it won’t take much.
A few other RBs I like this week are Alvin Kamara, Dalvin Cook, Singletary (I guess Buffalo is finally just using him as their primary back out of nowhere), Rashaad Penny (I might be chasing points here, but Pete fucking loves this guy), and I’ll play D’Andre Swift under the assumption that he will play more than last week.
At WR, I like Jefferson, Osborn, Mooney, Kirk, Lockett, Deonte Harris, and Aiyuk. Good luck if you’re dipping into the Packers WR. Jordan Love looked like a horse’s ass last time he played.
My favorite mini-correlation stack on the slate is AJ Brown with Brandin Cooks. The Titans have the fourth-highest team total on the slate and Cooks always gets enough targets to be relevant. David Culley has that team playing so fucking hard you wouldn’t even know they’ve been dead for weeks.
At TE, the Chosen One is back. Dan Arnold is expected to be active and ready to be locked in. I’m not sure much else needs to be said. The Colts also historically suck against TE so I don’t think I’ve ever seen much more of a lock than this.
If I go elsewhere for any other lineups I’ll probably guzzle the fucking chalk with the Cole Kmet stacks in my Cousins lineups. Otherwise, I like Bates and Everett.
At defense, I like Arizona, Houston(As I said, Culley has that unit playing hard) and Detroit (See Love comment above).
It’s time for the CGG of Week 18. Cash God beats variance. This week the CGG is Taysom Hill. It’s time for him to run wild against a shit-tier Falcons defense. You don’t even have to stack him, but I like him with Kamara and Deonte Harris if you’re going to go full mast. I normally don’t pick QB as the CGG so I’ll toss in another bonus CGG for week 18. The second one is Michael Pittman. He is set up for a massive explosion game against the Jags.
As Shahid Khan would say; This time, I got it right.
I’ll be back next week for the playoffs.
-CashGod-
The Cash God 
One response to “Week 18 Preview: Taysom’s Hill”
holy shit the elephant gif had me dying
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