The Cash God is back. Just in time for NFL. I min cashed the big fucking papa. There is nothing better than seeing that bag of money on the Draftkings app even if it was a net loss of a week. Bigdicki and Spieth started out hot but gurgled a bit on Saturday and Sunday otherwise it would have been a massive week. It’s Tour Championship week. I’m ready to keep it fucking rolling.

https://gfycat.com/angryimpishaffenpinscher

The best play in the top range is clear to me. We are so many weeks into this golf season and as I like to say the plays are flowing through me. It’s Patrick Cantplay. I don’t give a shit that he just won last week. He has 4 top 5s in his last 5 tournaments including a second place and a win. He won this event last year and I don’t see any reason why he won’t uncoil his fucking cock once again this weekend. He’s the only player over $10k I’m playing. Cantplay exposing his dick:

I also don’t see any reason why we can’t play Jordan Spieth again. He’s starting at 2-under, which is 8 behind the lead. He and Morikawa area clearly the two best players in the $7k range and there’s no fucking way I’m gurgling that Stallings chalk. I don’t give a shit how well he’s playing. Spieth still has 2 top 10s and a T19 in his last 4 tournaments. I’m playing Spieth again.

I saw enough out of Bigdicki last week to bring me from flaccid to full blown midnight in an instant. I’m going back to the fucking well. If we want to fit Cantplay in any lineups we are going to need to save somewhere and Bigdicki at $8.1k is a great start. He will start 8 back from the lead, but he will be lower owned and can make up ground in a hurry. There are some fucking ass shitters in front of him that he will pass quickly and easily (i.e. Rory). He has an extensive history at this event, including a T4 in 2018.

There is one name I will gurgle chalk on and it’s Aaron Wise. He looks like one of the chalkiest players in the entire field, but at that price, it’s almost a lock. We don’t always get the chance to play golfers under $6k but at $5.4k he’s clearly one of the best values on the slate. He has two top 15s in his last 3 events. I’m getting the funnel out and absolutely sucking chalk down.

The last play before the Cash God Guarantee is Bill fucking Horsecock. Horsecock loves this event. He has 2 top 10s (one of them a T2) in the last 5 years at the Tour Championship. He hasn’t been great oer the past 2 months since his win at the Memorial, but he’s rounding back into form in his last two events. He will start at one-under so it might be almost impossible for him to win, but I still expect a good result at only $6.9k. Horsecock eyeing the competition:

The Cash God Guarantee was the easiest pick of the year. It’s Justin Thomas. Besides LIV Cam Smith, he is going to be the lowest owned of any of the top golfers. There hasn’t been a time in the last 5 years that he hasn’t finished top 10. I say this every few weeks but this time I mean it. I’m sending a dick shaped hole through my wall with the force of a SpaceX rocket on Sunday when Thomas wins it.

I’ll be back next week.

-CashGod-

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